After the Final Positive

Aug 16, 2015

Our heads were spinning, to say the least. I felt like I was dreaming. How could I  be pregnant? It was a lot to wrap my head around, and we didn’t exactly have much time to process because in a few hours, we would be hosting our weekly small group/bible study. It just so happened to be an “updates” night where each couple shares updates, praises and prayer requests with the rest of the group. After being away on vacation, we had been planning on revealing our adoption news that night. Now, we had something quite different to share.

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Oh, the adoption. Now what? I felt such excitement about our little miracle, but soon realized what that meant regarding the adoption. The baby we planned to adopt was scheduled to be born around Christmas and our baby due about 3 months later. We knew we couldn’t do both. I knew that God was closing the adoption door for a beautiful reason, but I still experienced some sadness over it. I was worried about breaking my friend’s heart when we told her we could no longer adopt. I was confused about why God brought that opportunity to us only to close the door so quickly. I was nervous because I was still SO early in my pregnancy and I didn’t know how it would turn out. Still, we knew we needed to tell her right away so that she could plan and process accordingly. In the end, God showed both me and her the purpose of bringing us together. He used this adoption opportunity to prepare my heart and show me that I really WAS ready to have another baby. And He used our miracle baby to help give her the peace she needed to see that what God wanted for her was to raise her precious miracle.

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We started telling people right away. Within a few hours, our small group knew, most of our family and some friends. The news was too good and big to hold in! Still, it felt so weird. I couldn’t believe that I was pregnant. I kept staring at the positive tests waiting for them to change or something. The next morning, I took the final digital test I had because, well, I just couldn’t be too sure. I still honestly thought that I might see “not pregnant” this time but sure enough, it said pregnant again. That made four positive tests from two different companies. Then why was it still so hard to believe?

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 A little message on “Homeopathy and What Worked for Us”

I have had several people reach out to me since sharing our “Road to the Unexpected Positive” post asking about homeopathy, infertility and what remedy worked for us. First all, THANK YOU for trusting me with your story of struggle, loss and pain. I am acquainted with it well and I am honored to speak any encouragement and hope into your journey. I also understand the desperation of wanting to find “that thing” that will work. I want to start by saying that I believe that homeopathy is a beautiful gift that can address a myriad of issues and help the body into optimal wellness. But the nature of homeopathy is that it is extremely individualized and specific to each person’s unique system. That’s one of the reasons I love it most! There is no “one size fits all” fix. The process to finding the right remedy is lengthy; full of specific, unique questions that address you as a whole (mental, physical, emotional and spiritual) and reveal your areas of struggle and weakness. All that to say, I encourage anyone who is interested in homeopathy to find a homeopath near you and work together to find the best remedy for YOUR body. For me, that remedy was Sepia.

My homeopath gave me Sepia, not specifically for fertility, rather I was seeking relief for my hypothyroidism, anxiety and overall emotional wellbeing. The fertility was just an aside of what could happen once my body was working at an optimal level. I encourage each of you who reached out to me to look into homeopathy to see if it’s right for you. I can’t guarantee it will work. I’m not even sure if that’s what worked for us. Joe and I have an ongoing joke of what “actually” worked for us: he insists it’s all the Crossfit he’s been doing and I insist it’s the holy yoga haha!

All joking aside, we could give the credit to homeopathy, Crossfit, holy yoga (or turning 30 or whatever), but the one thing I know is that GOD breathed life into my womb. At the end of the day, HE gets the credit. HE gets the glory. I don’t know why He chose to do it now and I don’t know if He used any of those things listed above as means of doing so. Sometimes the best thing I can do is just sit back and see it for the miracle that it is; without looking for an explanation of how or why it happened.

I’ll be praying for each of you that are struggling as you wait for God to show His plan for each of your families. I know the wait and unanswered questions are SO hard to wrestle through. I don’t know what He’ll choose to do today, tomorrow or years from now, but I know that He is working things together for good. Like homeopathy, God’s plans are individualized. He has intimately and lovingly written each of your days, for His glory and for your good. The plans He has for your family are unique to you. He has a beautiful story written for each of us! And like homeopathy, finding out his plan can be a lengthy process. Often it takes Him revealing our weaknesses, our areas of need and the places that we are not at “optimal health”. He is not only interested in giving us the desires of our heart, but to make our hearts look more like his. Sometimes he does that through beauty and sometimes He does that through pain. I pray that whatever season you find yourself in, that you will have peace, guidance and hope.

Love to all my fellow struggling ladies out there. You’re not alone!

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