Happy Monday, my dears! Hope you had a great weekend. Mine was filled with photographing lots of love so my heart is feeling full!
Remember when I told you about my new adventure with Holy Yoga ministries? Well, I can hardly believe it, but teacher training is almost over! In less than a week I leave for the instructor training retreat up north which is the final part of training. I’m not going to lie, I have all sorts of butterflies about it. I feel like a kid getting ready to go to school for the first time. What if the other kids don’t like me? What if I start crying because I miss my family too much? What if I can’t keep up with the rest of the class? I thought I would magically turn brave once I became a “grown up”, but we all still have our fears regardless of our age, am I right? Despite my fears, I’m also extremely excited about what God is preparing for me and the other students there. This is the first opportunity I have allowed myself since becoming a mom to get away for an extended period of time. How beautiful to have a week of intentional focus on the Lord where I allow Him room to speak to my heart, remind me who I am in Him and be blessed by the community of students that will surely become like family.
As I prepare for retreat, it’s easy to get caught up in the idea that I am not enough. I don’t feel prepared enough, equipped enough, strong enough, outgoing enough, holy enough, etc. Today was my first day back to a yoga class after having to take over two weeks off while hosting family and being sick. On the drive there, I told Bella that I was nervous about not being able to keep up like I used to. She replied with “Don’t worry Mommy. You can do it. God will teach you!” And in an instant, through the wise words of my 3 year old, my heart was changed. I was so caught up in what I could or couldn’t do. My focus was completely on myself, my strengths, my weaknesses, that I forgot where my focus should rest.
God will teach you.
As I flowed and struggled through class today, I couldn’t help but beam with joy. My heart was full remembering the sweet words of my daughter that acted as my mantra. How freeing to know that my successes and failures do not rest on me alone, but on a Sovereign God who lovingly directs each step. When I stumble, He is there to catch me. When I soar to the top, He is there waiting for me, reminding me that He is the one who paved the way. And when I drive to yoga retreat, stomach in knots with anticipation and fear, I will tell myself over and over again…