The Rearview Mirror :: Part 3 :: June 2013

Jul 5, 2015

Get caught up with Part 1 and Part 2 of the Rearview Mirror series if you missed them!

rearview3

We were originally scheduled to fly to Oregon June 17, 2013 and Julie would be induced the next day. However, just a few days before we were to fly out, Julie called telling us that the doctor called off the induction because of another complication. Now what??! Our neat and tidy plan was unraveling and none of us knew what to do next. We went back and forth on whether to fly out anyway or just stay home and wait for the “I’m in labor!” call. She really wanted us to be there for the birth, so we wanted to be out in Oregon as close to her due date as possible. She was already dilated to 6 at this point, so surely she would be going into labor soon, right?

We waited in Arizona until we couldn’t wait any longer. Sitting at the house waiting for “the call” was driving me crazy. I sat with my thoughts of doubt and uncertainty as each minute went by at a snail’s pace. So we decided to fly out to Oregon on June 21st, two days before her official due date to meet Julie and hopefully, our son soon after!

We were in Oregon for eight long days, much of which was spent in our hotel room watching reruns of Catfish and old movies. To our dismay, there was little time spent getting our (many) questions answered. Sure, we were having fun with Julie, but our doubts were multiplying faster than dandelions in the spring. We were concerned about the baby’s health after all of the complications that had occurred over the previous weeks, but she would never let us hear it from her doctor. It was such a weird week. One minute I would be so sure about things, the next I felt like we were in a vortex of lies and manipulation. I didn’t know what to believe, how to feel, what to do. All we could do was wait.

It’s a very helpless feeling; not being privy to information regarding the child you believe will be yours. I get it, because technically he’s not yet, but it is still one of the hardest parts of being an adoptive mom. Until papers are signed, you are viewed as just some person off the street, rather than the person who is going to care for and raise this child as your own.

Waiting for a baby is hard enough, even harder when you have a toddler waiting for you just a few states away. Each day that went by without the baby boy being born was a day longer we were going to have to wait to get Bella. You see, each state has different rules and laws regarding adoption procedures. It’s confusing enough when you stick to your own state, but here we were trying to adopt TWO kids, from TWO different states, neither of which we lived in! We never were ones for the easy road, I suppose.

All that to say, at first Oregon wasn’t going to allow us to begin Bella’s adoption process until the baby boy’s adoption papers were signed and filed (which can’t happen until 3 days after his birth at the earliest). We were starting to realize that if the baby came two weeks past his due date, we may not be able to bring Bella home to us until sometime in August. A few weeks delay may not seem like a big deal, but once you have looked into the eyes of your daughter, each moment that you are not with her, being her mommy, is torture. Joe and I both are “doers”, so we decided to DO something! We called around and found out there WAS a way that we could be approved to have both of the adoption processes going at the same time. Take that, Oregon agency for telling us otherwise! Our God had found  a way!

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